Testimony Page

     For forty years I wondered in the wilderness--spiritually.   It was quite a shock after years of thinking I was a Christian to find out that I was just a "religious" person.  Religion and Christianity are NOT the same.   A person can have religion and not have Jesus Christ. 

     Ever since I was a child I KNEW ABOUT God, I mean, God the Father, God the Son (Jesus Christ), and God the Holy Spirit (some say the Holy Ghost).   I didn't KNOW God until May 11, 1988.  Prior to that date I claimed to be a "Christian."  I even tried to live like I thought a Christian should live:   attending church, reading the bible, praying, trying not to sin, trying to be a "good"person--even getting Baptized and joining a church.  It didn't work!   I was on my way to hell and didn't know it--or wouldn't admit it. 

     Over the years, I attended church on a regular basic.  I also came to believe that if I was more good that bad I'd have a chance to go to heaven.  I also thought that doing good works would give me even more security.

Sometime in my young adulthood I read Ephesians 2:8 which said I was saved by GRACE through FAITH, it was a GIFT of God--NOT of works lest any man boast.  That really got my attention!

Then I became acquainted with John 3:16 which says:  "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever ."believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life."  I liked that "whosoever!"  Whosoever meant Me !!!  In my heart I knew that I had to change.  I had embraced religion--thinking it was God.

I was one who allowed what other people thought and did to influence what I thought and did.  Yet, when you know within yourself that something is true, you can't deny it--IF you want the TRUTH in your life.  The TRUTH that I discovered was JESUS and salvation on His Blood.  I couldn't buy, work, or hope my way to heaven.  Jesus Christ is the ONLY way to the Father in heaven.  It's not enough to KNOW ABOUT God.  True salvation is KNOWING Jesus Christ as your Saviour and Lord.  Some people call it saved, born again, converted, or a profession of faith.

It took me years to come to this conclusion.  Meanwhile, everywhere I went, everything I did, and everyone I met didn't fill the emptiness inside of me.  I learned that people turn to things like alcohol, work, money, or relationships to try to fill that empty space within them.   Actually, that empty space is that part of us that belongs to God.  God is a gentleman. He doesn't come in uninvited.  Plus He is the only One who can fill that empty part of me.

I really feel sorry for the person who says that life has no meaning for them--or that they have no HOPE.  With Jesus Christ life does have meaning.  There is HOPE.  No matter what our circumstances, if we have Jesus, He'll bring us through to victory.  It may not be victory as we want it, but it IS victory.  God really does care about us.  God really does love us.  He knows what is best for us.  (Read Romans 8:28)   At the time, we may not understand this--especially if our circumstances aren't that good.  But I have come to the decision that I will not allow circumstances,anything, or anyone turn me from my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.  Because I know in my entire being that Jesus is the only WAY, TRUTH, and LIFE.  Once you have searched inside yourself and made that decision, you won't turn away.

In 1977 I had been attending a local church.  One Sunday morning during the time called the "invitation" I felt God dealing with me.  He was wanting me to go forward and accept Jesus as my Saviour and Lord.  I knew that I didn't want to join that particular church.  I thought that if I went forward I would be required to join that church.  So I told God that I wasn't rejecting Him, but that I didn't want to join that church.  God didn't argue with me.  Later, I found out that I could have gone to the alter and received Jesus without joining the church.

That same year I had an "emotional" experience with God and called it salvation.  In 1978, I was baptized and joined a local church after the Pastor told me that the "emotional" experience was indeed a "religious" experience with God.  My Husband, and two children were also baptized at the same time.  Then we began attending that church on a regular basis.  Then we moved and joined another church.  I ended up holding down several jobs at the church.  It wasn't until we left that church for another one that I went through the motions of salvation again--Including baptism. It was at this time that I realized when I taught Sunday School that I had to rely on commentaries written by other people because I couldn't understand God's Word.  I also had an unexplainable fear of the "rapture" of the church.  Thunder storms terrified me, and I was afraid of the dark.  Death was my biggest fear.   These fears should have made me aware that something wasn't right with me spiritually.  But I was in spiritual ignorance and darkness. 

These fears reached an unreasonable level in my life.  They controlled me.  After I met Jesus, He took the fears away.  I look forward to the Rapture and 1Thesalonians 4:16,17 is my favorite scripture.  Thunderstorms are now a source of fascination to me.  I can walk throughout our entire home and outside in the dark without fear.  Death has no hold over me anymore because I KNOW that when I leave this earth, heaven will be my home because of Jesus. 

We moved out of the area and attended another church..  One afternoon my husband was reading out of the book of Romans to our son.  The scripture convicted me.  Again I went through the motions of salvation because I didn't want to go to hell. 

In February, 1988, we began attending what I call a "spirit-filled" church.  I remember Sunday after Sunday feel a tremendous love all around me whenever I entered the sanctuary.   Something was happening to me inside that I couldn't explain.  Later I learned that it was God's Holy Spirit convicting me and drawing me to Jesus.  On Wednesday, May 11, 1988, I had had enough!  I had to know what was going on.  I was at home with flu-like symptoms.  My husband came into our bedroom to have prayer.  I told him that I was confused.  I didn't know if I would go to heaven if I were to die.  He responded with something like, "I can't really tell you what to do.   You know the scripture."  So I told him that I was going to pray, and God could decide whether it was going to be a prayer of rededication or salvation.  It's been said that a person has to be convinced that he is lost before he can get saved.   During that prayer, God convinced me.

I don't remember all the words.  But God let me know right away that I wasn't His.  For a couple of seconds I was just numb with fear.  Then I asked God to forgive me of my sin and help me to repent (turn away from sin).  I renounced Satan.  I told Jesus that I believed He is God and the only way to the Father in heaven.  But as I said the words, "Jesus I open the door of my heart and ask you to come in to be the Saviour of my soul and Lord of my life," I sensed something wonderful pouring into me--starting at the very top of my head and going throughout my entire being.  I knew at that moment I had met God.  I had finally received Jesus Christ as my Saviour and Lord.   Heaven was my destination.  Eternal life awaits me when I leave this world!   The flu symptoms left.  As I looked around, everything seemed so crystal clear and continued that way for a few days. 

A change came over me.I wanted to do something for God.  The following morning, as I sat on the couch in the livingroom, I asked God what He wanted me to do.  One word came to my mind, "sing" I asked again and received the same answer.  I was very excited because I love music--although I only have moderate talent in that area.   So I told God that I would like to sing for Him, but that He HAD to give me more musical talent and a better singing voice.  God's reply was that I would have to use what I had and pray for the ANOINTING not talent.  (In my words, anointing is God's consecrating a life, talent, and/or ability to do service for Him.)  I obeyed God.   He has used my singing voice to touch people for Him.  As long as I get out of the way, God supplies the anointing.  In fact, I won't sing in church without the anointing.  (another way of looking at the anointing is as God's stamp of approval.)

Since that time, God has also called me to INTERCESSORY PRAYER, WRITING, and ARTWORK in that order.  MUSIC is last on the list.  He has also commissioned me to study His Word to teach it.  I don't need commentaries now.  The Holy Spirit interprets the Word for me. 

Emotional experiences, mental occurrences, and fear is NOT salvation.  When I received salvation, I came to Jesus because I wanted Him!  I knew that Jesus was the only WAY for  me.  I wanted the TRUTH in my LIFE.  Before Jesus, I would lie when it was convenient.   After receiving Jesus, I hate a lie--even exaggeration.  Jesus brought me from a lost person without a purpose who couldn't stay out of bed for more than a couple hours at a time due to infirmities to one who is saved, cleansed by the Blood of Jesus, and with a purpose.  I'm a new creature in Christ.  Jesus is my MEANING and HOPE.   God has instilled in me such love and the ability to forgive!

The enemy (satan) has fought me every step of the way.  But he hasn't won.  For example, it has taken me months to write something that should have taken only a few hours.  The enemy has caused things, events, and people to get in the way of doing what God has wanted me to do to the point  I was almost stopped.  But as long as I have breath, and as long as God wants me to, I WILL do as He told me.

I feel in my spirit that there will be a time when I will be FREE to do the work that God has called me to do.   Until that time, If I'm stopped in the midst of what I'm doing, as soon as I can I will continue from where I left off.  The enemy has not won.  He just won't concede to defeat.  There is victory in Jesus!

By the way, the Sunday after my salvation experience, I attended church.  The love that I had felt all around me before was now inside me.  On Sunday, June 5, 1988, I received water baptism.   On Sunday, August 29, 1988, I received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. 

We have to look past this natural experience.  Our time on earth is but a vapor in eternity.  Your soul is your most prized possession.  What you do here on earth determines where you spend eternity.  By that I mean each individual has a choice whether to accept or reject Jesus Christ as Saviour and Lord.  Rejection of Jesus means eternity in hell.   Acceptance of Jesus means Eternal Life in heaven.  There are only two places to go.  If you don't want Jesus, that's your decision.  But don't expect to go to heaven when your soul leaves this life. 

From reading about hell in the Bible, I've come to the conclusion that no one would really want to go there.   Hell is NOT fun and games.  There's no partying or vacationing in hell.   Hell is a dead place for the dead who will be separated from a loving God forever!

Some people feel comfortable believing that there is no heaven or hell or even a God.  That way they can do what they want and answer to no one.  They don't even want to address the fact that the Bible says that there WILL be a Day of Atonement when all creation is judged before Almighty God.  On that day, those who have refused Jesus Christ as their Saviour and Lord will meet Jesus as their Judge!  If their name is NOT written in the Lamb's Book of Life, they will hear the words, "Depart from me I never knew you."   Where will they depart to?  By then death and hell will have been thrown into the Lake of Fire for ALL eternity--able to see heaven, but unable to be there. 

I'm no one special.   But God is no respecter of persons.  Jesus died for me at Calvary, just like He died for you and everyone else.  But Jesus' tomb is empty!  The Holy Spirit bodily raised Jesus on the day we call Easter.  Fifty days later, Jesus bodily ascended into heaven to sit at the right hand of God the Father.  Very soon, Jesus is going to stand up, then come to earth for His church (The Rapture.)  What will follow will be three and a half years of FALSE peace after the peace treaty is signed with Israel--Then the Abomination of Desecration when the anti-Christ ascends into the temple in Jerusalem and demands to be worshipped.  What will happen will be three and a half years of hell on earth.  The Bible says that it will be a time in history that has never been before or will ever be like it again.  My mind doesn't even imagine the horrors that will take place during this time.  Are you ready for Jesus' return?   Salvation is NOT automatic.  It's a choice.  Doing nothing is still a choice.  My heart desires that everyone know Jesus.  But just as my Lord did, I don't force Him on anyone.  I've presented Jesus.  You make the choice.